


move into the devil’s shoes

by fiveya_whoregreeves



Series: a fever in my heart [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alpha Number Five | The Boy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood, Blood and Injury, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fertility Issues, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Morally Ambiguous Character, Omega Vanya Hargreeves, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29747922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveya_whoregreeves/pseuds/fiveya_whoregreeves
Summary: He hadn’t intended for it to come to this.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: a fever in my heart [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120301
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	move into the devil’s shoes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetheartbitterheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetheartbitterheart/gifts).



> Make sure to read all tags and warnings. If any of them make you uncomfortable at all, please do not read this.

He hadn’t intended for it to come to this.

The omega was curled into a tight ball, whimpering slightly. She still hadn’t changed clothes, and Five flinched every time he saw the blood saturating her pants. Vanya would hiss each time he tried to come near, and he didn’t think it was  _ right  _ to disrespect her wishes. Still, he hoped that the omega would eventually welcome his help. It was already awful enough, just seeing her struggle, but he could tell she was starving too. They didn’t precisely have an abundance of food in this wasteland, but she looked even thinner than usual, bones standing stark over her face, bruises all over her skin. The dark bags underneath her eyes suggested she hadn’t slept since it had happened. He hadn’t left her side, but he’d hoped that she’d drifted in any of the times exhaustion had overtook him. 

“Alpha,” she said, voice soft, and he glanced up at her. When he saw her reaching for a knife, he stumbled over his feet in his haste to get to her. He hadn’t teleported in ten years by this point. 

Another way he’d failed her, he supposed. 

“I need you to…” She whimpered, and he eased the knife out of her grasp, gently petting her until the sobs left her body. “We need to go home, Five.”

“I know, I’m trying,” he promised, wracked with guilt. “Is there anything that I can do to help?”

She leaned against him. “I need something else to wear. And I want to get this blood off of me, Five.” Her lips were beginning to wobble. “It hurts so much.”

He knew that the physical pain wasn’t what she was referring to, that as soon as he cleaned her up, she’d climb on top of him and start trying again. It hurt him to know that she was suffering as much as she was, and the love he felt for his omega was the only reason he kept letting her even  _ try.  _ She would often stare longingly at the gun he kept or the knives that were scattered around their campsite, and knew that he’d do literally anything it took to keep her from following through the thoughts he knew resided in her mind. 

The only thing that kept them at bay, though, was for her to try again, fucking him until she was pregnant each time. It felt sometimes like she was the alpha, with how aggressive she was in trying to impregnate herself, but he knew that breeding was just as deeply rooted within her own instincts. Five constantly found himself wishing that she had been born a beta, that she wouldn’t have this urge, destructive to her in another way than he feared. Though he’d quickly grown to fear this, aware of how it would turn out each time. 

“We will have a child one day,” she told him as he gathered water to boil, after setting her into what had once been a kitty pool, before the apocalypse, but now functioned as a tub for them. She started pulling off her clothes quickly, her thin body covered in bruises, ones she’d gotten from malnutrition. Though she was still as lovely as she’d always been, seeing the effects of starvation so clearly on her body unsettled him and caused the guilt within him to only worsen. When he got her out of this world, he’d make sure that she never missed a meal, that she would be taken care of and provided for the way that she  _ deserved.  _ Seeing her starve day in and day out was weighing on his mind. 

Five listened to her chattering about the nesting she was already preparing for, something he’d caught her doing last week, aware that there was no way she’d be able to carry the baby much longer than two months. It was almost like it was the only thing keeping her alive any longer, and she’d hiss at him any time he got near the nest, crouching in front of it like she could sense where his thoughts were. It angered the omega for him to suggest that she not try any longer, at least not until they were home, and she’d often avoid him if she sensed his thoughts drift towards doubt. Her instincts were enough to know when she was with child, and she was never happier than when she realized she was. 

It was almost enough for him to have hope, too.

When the water was boiled, he walked forward to her, holding a washcloth in his hand and the pot of water in the other. “Lean back a little,” he commanded, and she did, spreading her legs. Five resisted the urge to groan, wondering why she even bothered wasting water when she’d just ask him to fuck her the second that she was cleaned up. Resigned, he told her, “Lift your legs.”

She beamed, and he cleaned all of the blood off of her body, not even questioning it when she pushed down his pants and climbed on top of him, gripping his shoulders as she slid onto his cock. He couldn’t meet her eyes, not when they were full of hope like this, so he paid attention to her small tits bouncing as she rode him, keeping his hands on her hips and imagining a future where something like this could possibly make him happy. Vanya had stopped seeing him as much other than a means to impregnate herself, convinced that the second she was able to hold a baby in her arms that everything would be okay. 

It was maddening to know that he was letting this cycle continue, but there was nothing he could do about it. Even if it hurt to know that he’d broken all of what could have been for  _ them,  _ all he could concern himself with now was that, at the very least, this would keep her alive. Voice eager, she told him, “We just have to try again to get this right.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
